January 2010
2 posts
I LET THE DARKNESS TAKE ME OVER
The pain is too great for me to contain as the venom spreads. I tried to rip it out and it resulted in the suicide of my inner being. It does not matter at this point as the damage has already been done. The removal of the anguish and the death of my spirit are one in the same. the searing ache tears through my physical body rendering me useless. my inner beauty quickly faded and the lustrous glow...
EVERYTHING IS BORROWED
If spit like luck, you can only seem, to borrow it, you can’t keep it. When the wind of change whistles into play will I blink or flinch away? The wind of change won’t whistle me away if I spin my tails and sail. And sail away, let yesterday become today.
I came to this world with nothing and i leave with nothing but love everything else is just borrowed.
November 2009
8 posts
5. am
I need something for my nerves…
All I can manage is tossing and turning. Because my stomach is upset, my heart is racing. All I can think to do is think. Think about what has happened. What just happened. What will happen. Then I remember why thinking never did me any good.
Because everything is just a constant reminder of you. Now your in my head. And I get lost in your eyes. And its 1am...
THE JACKAL
You can’t break a man the way you break a dog…or a horse. The harder you beat a man, the taller he stands. To break a man’s will, to break his spirit, you have to break his mind. Men have this idea that we can fight with dignity, that it’s the proper way to kill someone; it’s absurd, it’s inaesthetic.
We needed to endure the bloody horror of murder. You must...
TO SUNRISE
Thin lines of smoke from roofs rose by As if with pencils dark were drawn And webbed their graphite tapers high To greet the violaceous dawn. As one by one night’s embers died, Replaced by early morning’s flame, The milk-dipped moon, begrudging, sighed And bowed as up the fair Sun came. And in these treasured minutes few As night surrendered to the day; Before the sky turned jewel-blue ...
CAST PEARLS BEFORE SWINE
Discernible: her smoke-rimmed eyes Hold fast pearlescent, woeful tears - Entrap quixotic thirsts and fears And in their sullenness disguise Complexities unknown to those whose sight Is blinkered and whose passions daren’t ignite. Blame those who would not pause to weep At that, there silver-dusted moon; Or fear to touch sweet Summer’s rose, Lest premature are petals...
ENDLESS RAIN
Beneath the drip and drip of endless rains And clouds, a canopy of bitter greys, Bleak streaks of putrid light, tobacco-stained, Seep flatly through this evening’s choking haze. And lie like battered souls across the street, Beneath the wounded soles of weary feet. Grim dirt and grime grasp greedy to the skins Of haggard men, who rasp and sway, forlorn. Dim liquors dull all thought of...
THE DARKEST TREE
I’d like to know how long you lay your head where I lay mine, Where I now lie you lied, at last our lies are intertwined. I wonder if you cast your thoughts, as I, across these walls, And stained their perfect, chalky tones with unseen, bitter scrawls. I live one life where here I lie; my lies support my strength. I live another far away, a world of which I’ve dreamt Of showing you, yet such...
RESPITING WORDS
With healing pen draw out those bitter lines, Which skulk and lurk behind my cheerless brow. Through wretched veins ink seeps like crimson wine, And velvet tears hushed secrets do endow. Oh take these salted words from here my lips, And there do scrawl our black, silentious runes - Upon the passing sails of ghostly ships: Where phantom gales may lend our verses tunes. Where waxen moon...
DUST COLLECTOR
And now I’m sitting here alone, ad I’m thinking of you both and how he’ll hold you now I’m gone. Or the ones I’ve thrown away, with all the things I couldn’t say like “I am sorry”, “I am wrong”.
And it’s sad but I must say, that I’m better tucked away inside your drawer where I’m not seen. These words are easy written...
October 2009
6 posts
THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU
The first time i saw you, my heart fell. The second time i saw you, my heart fell. The third time fourth time fifth time and every time since, my heart has fallen. You are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. Your hair, your eyes, your lips, your body that you haven’t grown into, the way you walk, smile, laugh, the way your cheeks drop when you’re mad or upset, the way you drag your feet...
BE SAFE
One of those fucking awful black days When nothing is pleasing and everything that happens is an excuse for anger An outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour These are the days when I hate the world Hate the rich, hate the happy, hate the complacent, the TV watchers, beer drinkers, the satisfied ones Because I know I can be all of those little hateful things And...
SLEEPLESS WHITE NIGHTS
Loving you tires me, makes me empty inside. Something that looks like laughing when you’re crying. Loving you tires me, Makes me sad. What do you want to do about it, That’s life. It’s life, My life. Love me again, Do it gently. A year, A month, An hour, Passionately, Loving you comforts me during the sleepless white nights. Something that fills old burning stories. Loving you...
WITHIN YOU, WITHOUT YOU.
Within you I lose myself… Without you I find myself Wanting to be lost again.
BEWARE THE PERSON WHO HAS NOTHING TO LOSE
“I’m young and I’m hopeless… I’m lost and I know this… I’m going nowhere fast… that’s what they say… I’m troublesome, I’ve fallen… I’m angry at my Father… it’s me against this world and I don’t care.” It’s hard to answer the question “what’s wrong” when nothings...
APOCALYPSE
I’ve seen horrors…
Horrors that you’ve seen.
But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that… but you have no right to judge me.
It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face… and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and...
September 2009
14 posts
WE ALL EAT BLACK CLOUDS
I ran until my legs collapsed underneath me, until they we’re entirely inadequate. I ran until my heart stopped and my lungs deflated and I could no longer inhale. I ran where we used to go to remind me of you.
I’ve been running like that for a year now, since the last time I saw you.
Everyday of that year it became more and more obvious that I’m in complete, utter, distraction, crippling love...
E.MO.TION
e·mo·tion n. 1. the part of a person’s character based on feelings rather than thought. 2. a pleasurable or painful condition of the mind which may accompany our sensations, memories or judgements. 3. the sickest form of torture, and most beautiful gift that human’s were ever granted. five miles per hour, the seat belt cuts into my hand thats gripping it hard and the sweat burns into my flesh....
THAT IS ALL
Why the hell do I feel like this. Because sometimes I want to hide in the folds of the sun, And pretend that I’m living someone else’s life, Watching their dreams come true. Because I’m always always always stuck right here And time never stops and the world never stops And nothing ever stops except my heart, sometimes. Because I can’t go a day without thinking about you, It sounds crazy, and it...
MADAME FANNY PERRIER
Saw himself as a Poppy leaf - a troublesome one if he was, pouting with a very certain ease, his spangly legs scarred tight with steel and fashion - his glorious and local. Issues don’t concern him - he grinds away at the state on rare occsassions, but still with the lust of libertine he allows the free clenched hand of the market to fist him ceremoniously. Smiling of course, - writing...
I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT PUNK ROCK
I’ll tell you about punk rock: Punk Rock is a word used by.. dillitante’s, and ah… and ah… heartless manipulators… about music that takes up the energies, and the bodies, and the hearts, and the souls, and the time, and the minds, ..of young men who give what they have to it.. and give everything they have to it and it’s a… it’s a term...
WHAT MAKES STARS SO ROMANTIC?
What makes stars so romantic ? is it the beauty of a night sky dark lit with diamonds? or the wilderness of blue-white witnesses staring wordless black across the abyss? or the fascination of forever? ( for love is a fragment of forever lodged in the heart. ) is it the need for two when one seems so small? the desire to touch in the cold of the night, the vast, lonely field of life in which...
LITTLE FLUFFY CLOUDS
What were the skies like when you were young? “They went on forever And they — when I .. We lived in Arizona And the skies always had little fluffy clouds And they were long and clear, And there were lots of stars, at night And when it rained it would all turn It — they were beautiful, The most beautiful skies as a matter of fact. The sunsets were purple and red And...
SPANIEL O' SPANIEL
The Continuing Adventures of Spaniel O’Spaniel (Part II, at the careers office) In his passion, only a passion for life, he would, never hungrily, with deliberation, get the words wrong. “I don’t”, - when he did. “I will”, - when he clearly won’t. The careers officer, a plumping cheerless soul and a superb liar in his own right surveyed the sorry specimen before him. This murky eyed bundle of...
LAVENDAR
In the effluvium of this late twilight, under this clouded starless sky, there is an incandescent light, I can not impeccably describe, but which shines as bright as a warm summer’s morning.
Even through the confines of this cold February night that threatens to numb the skin, chill. Vapors of steam soak the crisp air from our lips, reaching out, then silenced as fleet as it had come. She turns...
ASK A STUPID QUESTION
Someone on or above the earth, tell me why on earth, does she beg of love at the feet of men who snatch her soul from her, selling it on to themselves at a profit that can’t possibly reflect its worth. This always ungentle robbery, is not a plot of lust, because she is very conscious of her select few lovers, particulalry in relation to her gains, to her own sexual harvest. The answer,...
HEAVY RAIN
The first time I saw you, I knew you were the one. I thought these things only happened in the movies, you know? Pounding heart, the sweaty hands and the shaky legs. I was coming out of the theater and it started pouring heavy rain. So there I was soaking wet, teeth chattering, freezing cold and you came up to me. You looked me straight in the eyes and said “Need an umbrella, Miss?”...
LIPSTICK WILL BE SUPERFLUOUS
She decided that there was nothing more beautiful than fogged up windows and “froid” days and listening to Autumn Leaves reverberating off the window panes as they cascade down from lighter branches against the rising of tea steam and things that come around just once a year – she was lucky if he came around once a month. But it was enough, then. It was enough to hear better words and kiss like...
STEM
Spirituality is a particular term which actually means dealing with intuition.In the theistic tradition there is a notion of clinging into a word. A certain act is regarded as displeasing to a divine principles. A certain act is regarded as pleasing for the divine … whatever.In the tradition of non-theoism, however, it is very direct — that the case history are not particularly important. What is...
STYROFOAM
Walk with me, hand in hand through the neon and styrofoam. Walk the razor blades and the broken hearts. Walk the fortune and the fortune hunted. Walk the chop suey bars and the tract of stars. I know I am a fool, hoping dirt and glory are both a kind of luminous paint; the humiliations and exaltations that light us up. I see like a bug, everything too large, the pressure of infinity hammering at...